The Last Ten Minutes
- As if Eva Longoria hasn't whored herself to every magazine in the world, she is now on the largest magazine cover ever - 110 feet long. Oh, and if you can't find it within your budget to go out to the middle of the southwestern desert to see it, you can view it from space here. Aliens en route to Earth to end all extraterrestrial life debates and bring supranatural futuristic technology that would effectively wipeout human suffering as we know it, saw that & kept going. "F---. She plagues this planet, too?"
- Girls wear short shorts. The same trendy girls with no sense that tried to rock the low-rise craze but instead made children cry with their muffin top and stretch marks all collectively gasped and cried, "That's so me!" forgetting to clean the lint out of their dimpled thighs and thinking it's all so hot.