What, The Mannequins Can Show Their Face But I Can't?

It just takes one "vulgar mannequin" to ruin it for everyone. Initiatives to clean up a city in northeastern Iran prompted police to pull alluring mannequins from storefronts. Likely they will ship them out of the country where they'll stand in for other alluring mannequins - Britney, Paris, et al. After all, as the 80's proved, dummies don't have personalities. For the Video Report, click here.

Room 101 - Eye Surgery Without Anesthesia

I wonder if this happened to Snake: In 1988, Carol Weihrer woke up one hour into eye surgery, and although paralysed and unable to speak, felt the entire experience. Now an activist for anesthesia awareness, she gained a victory this week when the American Society of Anesthesiologists approved consideration of brain-activity monitors on a case-by-case basis. But they were too late! They missed Eye Patch Day! For the video report, click here.

The Latest Cancer-Fighter: Marijuana

In a recent study, researchers found that something about lighting up a splif may actually keep the carcinogens from causing cancer. Although that special something may also give you the munchies. And kill brain cells. So it's really not recommended. From us. Also: scientists reveal the best way to reduce the risks of smoking! To view the Video Report, click here.

CRIKEY! Don't Drink and Play With Crocodiles

You never see the Crocodile Hunter pound a two-four, and for a reason. But after wee bit, some have thought they had a bit of hunter in them - before the croc had of bit of them in him. While all this may seem like common sense, Aussie researchers now have the proof to back it up. To view the Video Report, click here.

Those Darn Pythons!

Pythons and other big snakes have been scaring people for centuries. The latest was found in this family's toilet. Maybe it was wondering where all the other "pythons" in the sewer came from. Plus: more toilet humor from our neighbors in British Columbia. For the video report, click here.

C'mon Grandpa, Gimme the Car Tonight...

This graph might prompt calls for a maximum age limit. But I guess if you're out of your mind, you really can't be realistically held accountable. Because what is real? Oh, that severed leg? Where'd that come from? Plus: on what would a high-rolling CEO spend $241K at a topless club called Scores? Beats me. For the SightSpeed Video report, click here.

New NBA Dress Code Gets Mixed Reviews

Don't tell me this is sloppy. Do you know how long it takes to get kicks and an old school jersey to match your do-rag and throwback hat? And your jeans? That's skills, dude. But the NBA commish doesn't think so, nooooooooo, he's gonna shape things up. What does he have in mind? And what do the players think? For the SightSpeed Video Report, click here.

Nigeria Proposes Anti-Spam Law

Nigeria is taking steps to rid itself of its image as the #1 email scamming country of the world by drafting a bill against it - finally. Not that some haven't had fun with it. Gotta love those scam baiters. For the SightSpeed Video Report, click here. For the full report, CLICK HERE.

What? You Mean This Isn't Flaxseed Oil?

In what has to be the lamest whine of an excuse ever, Barry Bonds swears he didn't know he was getting juiced. But the flaxseed oil was definitely working something. And what happened to his pushers? Watch the SightSpeed video report & see. For the full report, click here.

Rocky Knocks Out the Hits

Besides giving the world FIVE movies of arguable import & inspiration, the Rocky franchise also pumped out some of the corniest diddies ever sung, blessing us with Karakoe fodder for generations. But Stallone proves he hasn't hit retirement age yet, as news of the latest film hits the streets, giving him one more chance to make up for Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot. For the SightSpeed video report, click here. For the full story, click here.

Put 'Em Together & What Have You Got?

NicoShot, a lager made with nicotine. Just as Oktoberfest winds down, Germany releases the obvious choice for alcoholics quitting smoking. As if smokers' breath isn't bad enough. But I guess that's what nicotine gum is for. For the SightSpeed report, click here. For the full report, CLICK HERE.

Another New iPod!

Ashley Simpson returned to Saturday Night Live recently to show to the world that she doesn't have to lip sync if she doesn't want to and can sing just as good as her sister. Which is, you know, as good as her sister. Ahem. And Paris Hilton appears in print for the 832nd consecutive day, beating out the war in Iraq, to announce the demise of The Simple Life. A world weeps. For the SightSpeed report, click here. For the full reports click here and here.

Apple Releases New Video Ipod

Okay, so they're not the first. Nor the best. Even the PSP can play video. But iPods have captured everybody's heart, proving that form & simplicity usually trumps versatility & cost - which is also why people choose automatic transmission. The cost for the new toy? $299 for 30GB, a hundred duckets more for twice the space. Oh, and they come in black, too. Click here for the SightSpeed report. For the full story, click HERE.

Did Hobbits Ever Exist?

Or, if they did, were they all shuttled off to a remote island? Possibly, say anthropologists, who, after findings of miniture human skeletons on the island of Flores in the Indonesian archipelago (might as well be Middle Earth), are captivated by the idea of an ancient civilization of little people, hazarding they might even be another species. Might I suggest, homo-tolkiens? Click here for the SightSpeed report. For the full story, click HERE.

Christopher Columbus: A Man You'd Want to Meet?

"The evil that men do lives after them, The good is oft interréd with their bones," said Shakespeare. The same could be said of Christopher Columbus, who is immortalized today and every second Monday in October. Why the second Monday in October? And why does Berkeley, among other cities, call today Indigenous People's Day? The SightSpeed Guy reports.

Toronto to World: Don't Worry, It's Not What You Think...

Well, it's the end of the week, good people. Time to wrap things up with the Friday SightSpeed News Roundup, with two - count 'em, two stories - to carry you through the weekend. FULL STORIES HERE AND HERE.

Falling Foam Debris Caused by Flying Spaghetti Monster?

What do you believe? Though celebrating the safe return of the Discovery, NASA can't seem to shake concerns of falling foam debris, which sealed the fate of the Columbia crew just two years ago. In a recent interview, NASA reveals possible causes of falling foam, while deftly avoiding mentioning another, quite viable possibility - the Flying Spaghetti Monster. For the SightSpeed video report, click here. FOR THE FULL STORY, CLICK HERE.

Nu-Nu Orleans? Supernew Orleans?

After leaving a trail of devestation and ruin, officials are concerned the Big Easy won't be so easy to clean up. Left with virtually an empty drawing board, how would you rebuild it? CNN asked its readers for suggestions on how New Orleans would Phoenix itself, and the SightSpeed Guy tries to report with a straight face. For the full story with all the outrageous suggestions, CLICK HERE.

Anniversary Weekend

Here she is: MY. SWEET. BRIDE. Six years ago she said "I do." This past weekend we spent our anniversary in Lake Tahoe. I know this isn't much of an update, but hey, this is the best you're gonna get. Want a link? Learn more about what we did HERE. And no, it's not what you think.