French Doc Performs World's First Partial Face Transplant

Unless you count Michael Jackson. He's...a work in process. I reported on face transplants two months ago, but never did anything actually happen until now.
For the Video Report, click here.

Borat, he kill me.

Sasha Baron Cohen, creator & star of Da Ali G Show, has established a cult following & has enjoyed mild success under the radar since the show's inception a few years ago. Recently, however, due to increased exposure as the host of MTV's Europe Music Awards, he's come under fire from Kazakhstan, the home country of one of his characters, Borat - ah, forget it. I ran outta time today and can't do a video. Here:

Kazakhstan threatens to Sue Cohen: GO HERE.

Cohen responds: GO HERE.

Who is Borat? GO TO HIS WEBSITE HERE.

Be sure to watch all the videos. See you tomorrow.

Crane Kick. 'Nuff Said.

There is a hallowed place wherein lie our unrustable, platinum icons who shaped our young lives and spawned endless hours of innocent violence as we found our nacsent masculinity. Pat Morita was one of them, our sensei, who has passed on to the infinite beach sands from where he taught the coolest move ever. For the video report, click here.

C'mon, You Can Admit You're Fat

But New Yorkers can't, apparently. They prefer to say they have "more to love." They're not the fattest city, though - not by a long shot. The Onion, meanwhile, has an flawless, if slightly unorthodox, way to solve America's growing obesity problem. And don't worry, if Homer can deal, so can you. For the Video Report, click here.

This Guy is the World's Fastest Eater?

"The greatest eater ever to live on planet earth" would normally conjure up images of this or this or even this. Stud-ish Takeru Kabayashi defies the paradigms and, in doing so, gains plaudits within the industry. For the Video Report, click here.


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Someone Help This Guy Out

Ever have a bad day at the office & don't feel like answering pesky questions? Thailand's Prime Minister has had an illustrious history of dodging the press, including his latest method of blaming the planets. Now that's inspired. George Bush, however, doesn't quite have the knack for resourceful press evasion. View the Video Report here.

When You Gotta Go, You Gotta Go...

But apparently a Kentucky (KY) student didn't have to. He took a dare. And a leak. In the ice machine. Of the school. In front of others. They told on him. At least there were no grenades. For the video report, click here. For more of what you see on the right, click here.


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When You Get Tired of Sheep...

Nowadays, with only 1% of the US population living on a farm, it's becoming increasingly difficult to avoid Les Cousins Dangereux. What to do? Fire up the 96K-baud modem on your Pii Win 95 machine & hook up at farmersonly.com, where you can meet guys like KYCowboy (who apparently is oblivious to the fact that KY can possibly mean something other than Kentucky):

well im singal 40 years old with 25 acers, two dogs one horse 4x4 show truck and a harley and no one to share it all with.

This is for real, pardner. Read the interview here. View the Video Report here.

GQ's Man of the Year is not Borat

Because that would have been too obvious. Instead, the honor went to Jennifer Anniston. Which is a little mystifying until finding out she shares the "Man of the Year" Award with two other equally baffling victors. For the Video Report, click here.

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Person of the Year

Mother Nature wants recognition. This year, she may have got it - she's the leading nominee for Time's Person of the Year award.

Who would you vote for? Who would I vote for? Click here for the Video Report.

Save the Bluths!

Who Translates These, Anyway?

Now there's a deadline: Before the 2008 Olympics, China plans to fix their "English" signage to welcome visitors...a little more clearly. Not that it hasn't been hilariously funny to date. For the video report, click here.

...and don't forget: Save the Bluth Family!

Save Arrested Development!

That's it. This was one of the few reasons I watched TV. Fox's Arrested Development is hands down the funniest, smartest, wittiest, most rewarding TV show since whenever, and they're pulling the plug. There's not much I promote, but the thought of the King of Queens ruling just makes me sick. Sign the petition here. Watch the Video Report here.

That Black Hole Just Sucks

Scientists now have evidence that shows a giant object in the center of our galaxy is a super-massive black hole. As if to console us from the inevitable doom of it all, another report suggest that black holes also create. How nice of them. So that's it. We're all going in. Just a matter of time. But what really happens in a black hole? Do you hear pretty music? Or is it an inferno of seizure-inducing images of Paris Hilton and her concrete mask of lazy-eyed photo-op dizzyness? For the video report, click here.

Don't Let That Wheelchair Get You Down

More and more people are looking at wheelchair-bound people as nothing more than people with foot-alternative transport.


Lithuania singles them out in its first ever women in wheelchairs competition for Miss Disabled. Whether the crown will help or hurt their self-esteem remains to be seen.


And remember: you're unique - just like everyone else. And Timmy. For the video report, click here.

Grenade Ball! It's da Bomb!

Apparently because a ball, rock, or hackysack just wouldn't do, a group of kids in Bosnia were playing catch with a hand grenade when it exploded, killing 3 of the youths. Not little kids. Two were 19, one was 20. Come on. Who knows what started it. A dare maybe? But grenades are so plentiful, so pedestrian in a country just recently torn by civil war, surely they would have chosen something a little more dangerous, say, hot lava. Now that would impress your peers. For the video report, click here.

Post-Post Halloween Video Blogs

Well, I just returned from Portland, Oregon, where the term "sticker shock" took on new meaning as I saw real estate prices that made me cry. In a good way. But I still love the Bay Area. And since I'm catching up on all other things related to work & can't really touch the blog now, I give you filler fodder until I think of something new & exciting to make fun of. Other people's Halloween Video Blogs. Click here and here and here and for the grandaddy, here. Because it's always fun to watch homemade entertainment. Note: The SightSpeed Guy can't police you. View the videos at your own risk. I don't even like Halloween. Halloween bad. Very bad.

Post-Halloween News Bits

Predictably, ne'er-do-wells and malcontents allow their inner demon - or just plain stupidity - to run amok on All Hallow's Eve. In stark contrast, the Castro's famous Halloween Party was relatively tame, even with 300,000 revelers. For the video report, click here.

50 Cent Disagrees With Kanye West

But obviously Kanye's got better hair. In a recent interview, Fiddy opposes West's infamous on-air criticism of George Bush, and calls Hurricane Katrina an Act of God. Not to be confrontationally outdone, 50 Cent stars in the upcoming Get Rich or Die Tryin', proving that you only need to slang a few rocks and bust a few caps before landing a legitamate job as a bonafide rap superstar. The billboards for the movie can be seen at a school near you. For the video report, click here.

Stallone Wants to Prove He's Still Relevant with Rambo IV

Aging muscle idol and former french magazine model (!) Sylvester Stallone finally caves in to almost 4 years of Hollywood pressure to reprise his role as John Rambo, the one-man army of misunderstood post-Vietnam war-induced psychosis. Meanwhile, the call has gone out to participate - as an unpaid extra - in the most desperate movie comeback of all time, Rocky the whateverth. Must be cheaper than CGI fans. At least he's got his pudding to fall back on. For the video report, click here.